Eat healthy foods. Drink more water. Move your body daily. Blah..blah..blah
You’ve heard it all before and it’s usually in one ear and out the other. While those are all important components there’s something often overlooked to a holistic health approach.
S – E – X
Ok, now that I have your attention…
Sex is natural and when addressed in a healthy way can be pleasurable and just what the doctor ordered.
A Few Benefits of SEX
Stress reliever – Ever wonder why that annoying morning person at the office has a smile on her face?
Sleep – Relaxes you so you can catch up on some much needed shut eye
Energizer – More sleep leads to more energy throughout the day so it’s a win, win!
Vaginal Rejuvenation – Promotes healthy estrogen levels to keep vaginal tissues supple
Relaxation – boosting endorphin levels and flushing cortisol (an inflammatory hormone released by the adrenal glands) out of the body.
Skin Glow – I’ve been told by more than one friend that I had a glow about me. My secret: I’d had an orgasm before I met them for lunch.
Natural boost to oxytocin and DHEA hormone – Before popping a pill try hopping in bed
Confidence booster – Carry that confidence from bedroom to the boardroom and rock that presentation or new goal you’ve set.
So WHY aren’t more people having sex? What’s the Problem?
SO many of us have an unhealthy experience with our bodies, sex, relationships, or expectations! Abuse and trauma are sadly prevalent, especially in the Latina community, and result in a screwed up view of sex.
Many aren’t willing to openly talk about sex out of fear of experiencing even more shame or being judged. So now you have a marriage or long-term relationship where partners aren’t communicating about what they do or don’t want in the bedroom.
Result: Sharing homes, children, bank accounts, and more with someone but not deepest desires or how to fully please each other with what is natural.
Sex isn’t usually talked about enough growing up so adults are left to jump into it with bits and pieces of information (usually NOT from a positive resource) and piece meal together something that makes up a huge part of their health and identity.
It’s like being expected to hang with the pros as a golf player with only knowledge of the basics: involves a club, ball, tee and that it’s played on a course. Other than that, you’re just whacking your balls and figuring out the score as you go. Chances of winning are slim to none.
So what the heck do you do about it?
1. Start by getting to know and LOVE your own body. Too many women suffer from vulvaphobia. Don’t be afraid to look at your vulva and learn to appreciate it. Chances are it’s been through a LOT in life and can use some kindness!
I’ll never forget the time my boyfriend asked me to watch porn in college. I saw a vulva that did NOT look anything remotely like mine! I hadn’t seen vulvas growing up and didn’t really acknowledge or look at my own. I immediately began comparing mine to the blonde actress and became self-conscious. One of the reasons porn can be unhealthy. There’s a lot going on behind the scenes and it’s not reality.
Vulvas come in many different shapes, colors, and sizes. Yours is unique just like you.
2. Learn what feels good to YOU. Sex is more than penetration and orgasm. The more I learn about sex the more I realize the pressure and “sex”pectations put on women AND men to perform a certain way. It’s ok to not like something sexually and speak up.
3. Care for your body. Feed it MORE real foods and LESS crap (Carbonated drinks, Refined Sugars, Artificial sweeteners, and Processed Foods, speak kindly to it AS IS, fit in fitness somewhere in your day, and soak up spirituality. Listen to your body and it will tell you what it needs.
3. Make Sex a priority. Often as women we push our needs down after taking care of husbands, children, work, home, and others. If you don’t make time in your day it may NOT happen. There’s always another person or to do list. As a wife, homeschool mom, and entrepreneur I’m busy. For years I lost myself in motherhood and decided to take my life an health back when I turned 40.
With young children are days and chores never seemed to end and our heads hit the pillow late at night and the LAST thing on my mind was sex. I finally woke up and decided I missed that connection and release of an orgasm. So began our morning wake up calls! Nothing like sex before breakfast to get me in a good mood to face the day. Find what works for your schedule but be sure to include it!
4. Speak up! As women and Latinas we need to share our voices and speak up about what we want and need without apologizing. Communicate with your partner in an open and honest manner. You’re sharing your body with this person and should be able to talk about anything. How else will they know? We owe it to ourselves and our daughters to care for our sexual health and approach it without shame.
Sex can be fun and a great way to unwind at the end of a crazy day or connect with your partner.
ALL areas of your life are connect and affect the other. Eventually when one area is unhealthy it bleeds over into another area whether it’s your physical body, productivity at work, or mental/emotional health.
Be intentional about addressing all areas of your life this year and be unapologetically authentic with you are and what you need to experience true holistic health.
About the Author
her heart skip a beat. She shares her passion on her blog, www.unprocessedJESS.com, and candid convos about sex, sleep, and the pursuit of healthiness on her podcast, Naked Talk with unprocessedJESS.